Waiting for you

28 Sep

I have a thing for a married man and i don’t know what to do about it.

Tried denying it(yes Mrs Filipo lol) and said i want only friendship from him(truth is i do need new friends).

I met him at an event(did not notice him) but for some reason we met at the stairs and this handsome tall man ask me ‘where are you from?’ i thought that was the strangest question to ask some one you did not know but it later turns out he is Ugandan! He thought i was a local(the girls are really pretty here) i guess it was a compliment lol.  So we hang out a few times.All this time he has no ring on his finger and never spoke about his wife.

I have many married friends i hang out with and no one ever suspects we are going out but with him, every one keeps asking questions(soon i will stop saying we are just friends). Then i discover he is married, i tell myself we can be friends, no biggie but the truth is i  wanted more than just friendship, i wish i had met him earlier in life, he would have been the perfect man but he belongs to some one else.

So i got into get rid of him mode, i knew i was not going to be able to do it(until i got over him) , it had to be him to do it. During one of our chill out sessions, i mentioned that i do not believe in sex before marriage and recently  he brought it up. So i thought, this is your chance!!! I blurted it out that i was still a virgin and waiting till i got married(you should have seen the look on his face). He has been a tad bit distant since then, yes it hurts but i know it is for the best.

Sin does not only happen physically but in the mind(he only got a peck from me), in my thoughts i have committed adultery and fornicated, every day i ask God to forgive me

Matthew 5:28But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart

I want my own man, one who has been waiting for me as i have been waiting for him, one who is after God’s heart, who will love me for me and when we get married, wear his ring proudly,be the father of our children, talk about me and carry numerous pictures of me lol

I used to listen to this song a lot. I will wait for you, i dream about you, waiting for the look in you eyes when we meet for the first time.

So many times i have almost strayed but God has always been there to set me straight. So i will wait and most importantly let go.

I actually cried while writing this post.


6 Responses to “Waiting for you”

  1. sig. M September 28, 2012 at 11:09 am #

    oh my darling….. thats just sad we all blame him for not wearing his ring in the first place and obviously his screwd up intentions were obvious after he found out u were waiting for marriage…. very noble and virtuous of you!!!

    • pinkauto September 28, 2012 at 11:19 am #

      Merci, i hope the sadness will end eventually, i seem to be an emotional wreck today lol. Thank you for passing by and do come by more often. Bisous

  2. Ug girl September 28, 2012 at 12:13 pm #

    ohhh honey ..there are times i read your posts and i feel like our lives are an exact mirror image of each other. I met this guy a few months ago, we work for the same company but different locations – once ever so often our work throws us in the same area code time and time again – When i see him, i see all my dreams in him, he the ideal image of my ‘the one’ – only problem is he belongs to another. when we are in location we hang out, talk for hours on end, about anything and everything – I keep telling myself that we are just ‘very good friends’ until when we kissed. there is chemistry but he belongs to another, this drove me insane, i felt as guilty as guilty be – all i could think of was adultery, adultery, adultery..and how he was perfect and i prayed that i could have a man like him only that he wouldn’t kiss another. I don’t even know why i am telling you this .. but i have been there only very recently…after the kiss we didn’t speak until the day after and set bold boundaries – Today we still talk for hours – We are just friends – but i still battle with myself knowing that most probably i should cut lose. I have always told myself i will never be one of those girls but i wonder if i am hiding behind, ‘we are just friends’ – I never give married men or guys with girlfriends the time of day unless we were friends before but even so the our friendship usually fades slowly with me making sure that we don’t hang out as much. I thank God nothing become of the kiss but even so i feel too weak to pray.

    • pinkauto September 28, 2012 at 1:10 pm #

      Awww, hun, i feel you so much! I am glad you set boundaries and i keep saying only God and time can change our situation. Take it to him in prayer. You wont believe my ideal man is sort of modeled around him right now, i shall put you in my prayers from today. Bisous

      • Ug girl September 28, 2012 at 3:42 pm #

        Thank you hun .. you are in mine too ..:-)

  3. Mozella September 29, 2012 at 4:31 am #

    WONDERFUL Post.thanks for share..more wait .. …

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