Tag Archives: love

Update – Half year Mark

27 Jan

Hello beautiful People,

Happy New year(I hope it is not too late). I must apologize  as I have not blogged in such a long time, moving home has been a bit over whelming(I should have taken a few weeks off). It was off the plane and straight to work! Which has been a roller coaster ride.I probably carried on way too much in the first couple of months but I thank God all is well and he has been faithful in so many ways.

I have had so many things go on, I have played in two tournaments since I got home, joined a gym(yes I know) and can fit in a bikini(ok, I could always fit in one) but I am more confident walking a round the pool in one hehehe.

I fell in like with probably one of the hottest men I have ever met, gosh he is movie star material with a temper to match, we started out with an awkward silence/friendship and in the last month or so we are over the awkwardness and now we are in a comfortable friendship which is great(my sister keeps pressing me to do more) but I am not that type of person. During our conversations I found out he is not that intelligent and I love intelligent me, geeks just do it for me(but he is hot!). Yesterday I was seated under a tree waiting my turn to play and he comes and tries to make me wear shades I gave him the brother please look hehehe (I guess I should have been a little more open) I am working on it. I think dating outside your race is a challenge because what I might find appropriate might be totally inappropriate to him. I am trying to find middle ground to get out of the uncomfortable zone. (I never thought I would even consider dating out side my race but I guess with age comes maturity)

Yes I finally moved out of home, I lived with my parents for a few weeks and moved in with my brother(who is amazing!!).

One thing that is still pending is catching up with all my friends, because of the work schedule it has been almost impossible to meet up with my friends(hopefully the wedding season coming up will be a good one). So this year I am putting more effort to met up with my friends.

Lastly I have embarked on a 40 day fast with my Church(never done that before) day 8 is here and I am super excited, only good things this year.

I hope to get married this year(I shall get back to  you at the end of the year, so keep me in prayer)

Have blessed week

Bisous

Three decisions

12 Apr

Good morning Beautiful people,

How is the new month treating you?

I am well, so much has been going on! Yesterday i read a friend’s blog and one post in particular caught my eye, she was talking about writing our autobiography and how we shouldn’t  wait till we are old and tired to write them but rather start now, every day, one post at a time.

Over the last couple of weeks i have been trying to sort my life out, not that i have a disorganized life but rather, just reevaluate my goals. But i have been praying mostly for guidance in a lot of things

I did my exams recently and i was asking God to help me pass and secondly if i should continue with the course i am doing. I applied for grad school and i have been put on a waiting list, i hope i shall be admitted and granted a scholarship. Either way i will be studying i just need God to open doors for me.

My company asked me to apply for a job opening in Uganda and the way things look i might be transferred  I do want to go home but not right now, i want to move to another country for another two years then i shall settle back home. the thing is the company the group wants to move me to has liquidity problems, i already asked God a long time ago not to employ me in companies that do not pay employees on time. I had a bad experience once, i had backlogs of salary of up to 6 months. So if the company can not pay me on time i am not interested in working for them.

Lastly, i met some one, (ok not really)  but i finally clicked with a Christian man! Gosh, it was such as beautiful moment to meet a man who not only loves God but we have so much in common, yet we are so different. We met about a year or so ago at a friend’s event and i never even looked at him twice. He was the skinny quiet guy in the corner. Then recently i found myself seated next to him on Sundays. Then on Easter we had a group lunch(us single people lol) and we hit it off. Since then we chat everyday. Then yesterday he told me he likes me! I didn’t know what to say because it was on whatsap!

Now i have a bone to pick with dating today, what happened to good old phone calls? Everyone seems to be using whatsap to date! I am very old fashioned and i would prefer to be asked out in person on a date or some thing.

So my dilemma is i might be moving country soon and i have no idea what to do about the man. It is has been very tough for me to click with a guy at this level that i have resorted to God(as always)to help me out.

I have been on a soul, Jazz and blues phase, i realized that i listen to music in a very systematic way. For example i will have a reggae and ragga phase, then worship 101, then world music then a Deitrick Haddon phase. The man in question found me in a soul, jazz and blues phase. poor him he can’t reconcile that i am such a dance hall fan! Any way lots of learning to do.

In other news my birthday is coming up soon and my Boss has already booked to take me to dinner, since he has resigned, he is giving me half of his library of books as a parting gift! I am super excited. The man in question is also looking for a plan for my birthday and i have no idea what i would want to do with him. All i want is to spend it with friends.

Have a great weekend

 

Is this love – Corinne Bailey Rae

Three year Anniversary!!

1 Apr

Today is my third blogville anniversary!

It happens to be my girl’s birthday. Happy birthday Flo,flo! I miss you, can’t wait to be an aunt real soon.

So much has gone on in the last three years, lots of growth, disappointment but mostly a lot of love.

A big thank you to Ugandan Girl, Jollof, Rethots (yes-o) for always dropping by and spreading the love.

I think i met him yesterday!! Ok, i met him a while back but never really thought about him( i usually sit next to him at church) but yesterday some thing happened and i am excited! He is every thing i have prayed for(except his shoes) but we can work on that hehehe

Three years and still standing!!

Three years and still standing!!

In other news my really cool Boss is taking me to dinner for my birthday! I am already excited although it is in four weeks. I love my Boss!! God has surely blessed me with a wonderful mentor at work.

Dates Woes

19 Oct

Today i read Myne’s blog , she talks about love and romance.

This took me back to a conversation i had with my girlfriend a few weeks ago.

You see, i am a poster child for failed relationships, so much that my longest relationship has been 10 months. That said, i am a hopeless romantic and very traditional in my thinking. It got me thinking, is there some thing wrong with me? I battled with this for so long, so i thought why not ask a friend who knows me so well and will not sugar coat any thing just to make me feel better about myself?

Conversations with Mrs Filipo are always insightful to say the least, if there is one friend i would not mind be stranded with in an island it would be her, she is very down to earth and practical(it helps that she is an architect, building a house will be easy 🙂 )

Towards the end of last year, i had decided to have sex, just for just, so that i could get rid of my virginity because i was tired of it! I tried so many times but failed, i just couldn’t do it.

A close male friend called me last week and for some reason we got in to the marriage topic, according to him, i (along with his sister) are a group of women seated on our holy high chairs thinking we deserve better(men) yet we don’t, what got me off was how we are not trying hard enough to date and constantly rejecting men! Mad is an understatement, it hit me, he is coming to the conclusion because of the conversations i have with him(poor dude) he does not even get 20% of what goes on in my life, ONLY the girl friends know the truth.

Any way, i thought some thing was wrong with me but my girlfriend made it clear that SEX is a big part of men and dating. But my last real relationship, i met a great man who was more than willing to wait and above all ready to marry me, i think in my mind, i believed and still believed that men can wait, if he can’t then he is not worth it.

My self esteem was hitting the lowest it has ever been, going on Facebook and seeing men who could have possibly been mine(surprising, they are dating women who look like me)  happy and i am single.

Until i meet some one who is on the same page, i shall wait.

Thank you love for letting me in on the secret, i know i can be so naive in some of the conversations 🙂 but i am learning slowly but surely and for standing with in on this difficult choice. For the last three years you have listened to me go on and on about a guy only for it to get cold and as we have grown, so has the conversation, we have matured so much,yet still in many ways young.

Have a great weekend

Ask and you shall receive.

2 Feb

Today i asked a friend for a favour and he said yes even before  i was done asking! Yet i spent two days pondering on how i would handle the situation, many times my pride never allows me to ask of any thing(Even asking God was tough!).

On Monday i had lunch with a good friend and because my card had been retained by the ATM(yes my banking woes), i had to go to the bank to retrieve it, only reaching the bank the line was for WORLD! I had the equivalent of ten dollars in my wallet, i turned and went straight to work.

That evening  got invited to dinner by my girlfriends(Indian is not ten dollars lol) On admitting my woes, they offered to house me(usually i would rather not go) but i am learning to accepting love or kind gestures.

The thing is i am a giver(so i have been told) but accepting any thing is tough.

I am learning to ask and receive the Bible states clearly:

1 Kings 3:5-13: Not only did Solomon ask but he asked wisely

Zechariah 10:1: What drought are you facing in your life? Simply ask the Lord.

Matthew 7:7-11: One of my greatest struggles as a Christian is i feel i am burdening God by over asking but this verse reminds me that he is cool with it not matter how many times i ask.

Matthew 21:22: Believing is another thing i am struggling with(today i asked not expecting anything but i was pleasantly surprised)

James 1:5: When it rains it pours.

1 John 5:14-15: Many times we ask selfishly but remember all things work for the good of those who love him.

*Side note* Today i went to the mall and good Lord valentine is here! I had totally forgotten. Best part is this year i have a date!

Happy new Month may you love and accept love in return.

For D

24 Nov

“Daisy thinks you hate her” said my sister. Hate? seriously?  Daisy is one of my bestest friends,  i was seventeen when we met and i must say we are as different as chalk and cheese. Though we have a few things in common it is hard to believe we are that close. For example reading comes naturally for me but to get her to finish a book is like climbing mount Everest. she is a gifted artist, i can’t draw to save my life, i take every thing serious, her on the other hand seems to take every thing lightly(lucky babe!), i am a go getter while she is laid back. A couple of months ago after this incident, we had a heated argument and i stormed out, may be i expect too much from my friend?

At the beginning of the year my other BFF had a similar incident, till today i am not sure what happened that night but it caused her to delete herself off Facebook, no Skype, even messages and phone calls where not answered or returned, luckily she lives in Europe and she took time to sort her self out but the challenge was when she decided to start talking to me, to be honest, i did not want to, going AWOL and coming back like nothing happened! Any way i got an email for her saying she was dealing with a few issues and i simply told her when she is done with her issues i would be waiting for her.

I decided to take a step back and evaluate my choices(not my friends). May be i am too hard on them? should i lower my expectations(they are pretty low if you ask me), should i stand and watch them walk down that path of self-destruction and live with the guilt for the rest of my life? No, then what is my use as a friend?

Simply, no, i do not hate you(is it even possible?) i have been dealing with a lot of issues, very personal issues and i put your issues on hold(for the first time in years), i realised that you are a grown arse woman and need to make your own choices with out you wondering how i would take it, above all, i am learning how to be your friend not your mother.

I am tired of being the strong one, when Wale left me, i shrugged it off but it took a year for me to get over him and it was hard, i was afraid to love any one, i thought they would leave too. It affected all my other relationships as i waited for them to get bored with me and move on. I had to take time to deal with my self and the truth was not pretty. To say i am done with sorting out my issues would be a lie. In my own time i shall come back but i am not sure things will be the same as i need to learn to let go, to let you fly and deal with the consequences of your actions.

Just because i did not see you over the weekend does not mean i don’t love you! In between burying my Grandma, watching my Dad cry and saying good-bye to my Mum, i honestly did not have any more energy to start sorting out our issues. I pray we can talk soon but right now my family comes first.

Above all i had tight deadlines for school(my tutor called today and i passed!) it was tough, i slept on average 3-4 hours a day, i quit my job with no other job in sight, i quit because i want to move country (so badly) but i guess i am stuck here for a while. It was tougher than i thought but God has been good to me.

I am and will always be your friend but for now i will be the silent one. I love you(always and forever).

P.S: I still have that picture of us as my phone screen saver.

Matters of the heart

5 May

I never thought i would write about love this soon on my blog!

I am in love (or like) what ever works for you with three men, all above 30.

Lets call them, Tinni, Mini and Mo.

Tinni leaves in another country, i thought we had a good thing going(I know you are asking what about the other two) I am one of those people who prefer not to keep all my eggs in one basket. You see one of the things that attracts men to me(apart from being absloutely  goergous) i am easy going and fun to be around not forgetting i can cook(so i have been told) but Mr Tinni let me down massively recently and i am so trying to get over him. Strange thing  is i have always noticed certain things about him that i was not comfortable with, i brushed them off and said they did not matter. I am looking for a man who can look after me, don’t get me wrong i am miss independent but lately i just need some TLC and he just wasnt giving it to me! He is the youngest of all the men and work wise he is struggling.

Mr Minni is the sweetest man ever, sadly he is my client(life is a bitch i tell you) but he likes me and i love sweet men, today in my email about a product i wrote, i am looking forward to seeing you instead of hearing from you!! Blunder i tell you but i managed to down play it.  If it  is  TLC i need, i shall get it in plenty.  Did i mention he is a wonderful cook, the birthday dinner came with surprises. He is the oldest

Mr Mo, is the perfect gentle man, he is stylish and smart(i am so attracted to smart men) and smells heavenly. Did i mention he has a smile to die for? He never says yes to every thing i ask but he is the sweetest man ever(sweet men with back bones are like a magnet tome) He works with Mr Minni, some times during meetings i meet both of them  and there is a little tension but i am playing dumb for now.

They are all from different countries! Talk about world peace! In terms of cute babies i would go with Mr Mo any time but Mr Tinni has the X factor, Mr Minni will give me the world.

Financially(let no woman decieve you that money doesnt matter) i am no gold digger but i want a man who can look after me. Mr Minni is a sound guy, and Mr Tinni is trailing behind. My mother always told me never to marry a broke man and only to get married when i can look after my self and not wait for the man to provide.

Lord i need your help on this one; it is a hard paper i tell you!!